People & Life Places

So, I just told someone today that I try not to put personal anecdotes on this blog. Which is true. But this post, will attempt to be a reflection on one aspect of life in terms of social people-to-people intereaction that I think I've realized. I promise it's still very philosophical, you can put it under the "adult" category in my blog title I suppose.

I was thinking today that it's all well in good to make use of the lessons of life that you are taught - manners, "good character" stuff, the rights and wrongs, etc when life is normal. We all have bad days and we all have those ups and downs, but by and large when everything is "alright" we generally have no excuse but to begin to think about how our actions and words, and inaction and words unspoken affect others.

It's really when things are bad. When things are turned upside down, and one's inner world is a cascade of constant ups and downs that those lessons come in handy. Because it is then when all of those lessons are up for question. What is right? What is wrong? What is good or bad? Which action should or shouldn't I take? Does this action merit this reaction? Am I a bad person if?

It is then I think when we begin to realize...okay get rid of this third person. This semester has been when I have begun to realize that there are days when all I can think about is myself and my feelings and the general suckiness of life. And sometimes that's okay. I am human. And I am imperfect. And there are times in life to withdraw for a bit and let the heart and mind work itself out, or let God work it out. And there are times when civilization and society give you a bit of a free card to just be in a bad mood, or be "not okay." But that doesn't mean that my actions and my withdrawness doesn't cause problems, or hurt feelings, or sin by proxy. But at the same time that doesn't mean that it's not okay sometimes.

I'm sure I could go on theologically here about forgiveness and such, but I'm not really in that place.

I think for now, it's just more acceptance of certain thoughts, feelings, fears, etc. And hoping that beyond hope when I get to a better place that some apologies and some changes....won't erase them, but will let everything move onto a new place.

It's a thought.